The Magic of 'No' in a Negotiation
Good negotiators are always focussing on how to get the other side to say "yes". This has proven to be an effective approach because it takes the focus away from "what I want" to "what do they need for me to get them to agree?" It means that most of your effort is spent trying to avoid having them say "no". Great negotiators, however, move beyond this. Rather than trying to avoid "no", they work with it to take the process forward. This is because in a negotiation people find it easier to say "no" than "yes". Chris Voss, who spent 25 years as the FBI's chief hostage negotiator, has shared his experiences in his recent book, Never Split the Difference - Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It . In some of the most difficult negotiations with some of the most dangerous negotiating parties, he had much more success with "no" than "yes". Even though we might not be negotiating with criminals a...